Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,
Thistle
thistle_chaser

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2 AM Logic (Nano)

I should be sleeping
Awake, heart racing... dying?
Death better than work

I think I had my first panic attack last night. 2 AM, I jolted awake, heart pounding fast, panting, wide awake... and it didn't stop. More than an hour it went on, I was sure it was a heart attack but didn't call 911 because, in my 2 AM logic, dying seemed a better option than living and going to work the next day.

I'm so glad I don't agree with that now that I'm awake! Things are settling down, somewhat better than yesterday. Still hot as all hell here. Insane. It's too bad, as my old desk had the 100% perfect temperature all the time, year 'round.

Did you know panic attacks could be brought on by having tapeworms? I wasn't sure exactly what panic attacks involved, so I googled, and it seems to fit not just my current life, but my lifestyle as a whole (eh, except the tapeworms). I'm kind of surprised I haven't had one before now! I'm a serious stresspuppy, among other matching conditions/traits.

Even though I felt like crap (both legs and left arm felt like they had been punched all night -- what had I been doing in the bit of time I was asleep?! Plus my sleep was broken on either end of the 2 AM fun), I tried to exercise this morning, but gave up after about 15 minutes. I was too exhausted and hurting too much to finish. Blah.
Tags: medical, nano (haiku version), rl
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