Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

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An update

I don't know if I'm feeling down (sad, depressed, no energy, no appetite) because my infection is back or because I'm worrying myself sick that it might be. Toe seems to be getting a little worse*, and I have a blister? pimple? something on the bottom of the same toe that hurts like heck (small red bump). Could be a blister caused by having tape put on and taken off three times a day for two weeks. Could be infection from my nail GOING THROUGH MY WHOLE TOE AND COMING OUT THE OTHER SIDE. Okay, maybe probably not that. Try telling that to my brain though.

(* Worse, but still within the parameters listed on the take-home care sheet they gave me. I think.)

I'm watching it closely. If it gets worse I'm going to have to go to the doctor again, even though I'm getting a giant fear about going to them because they might say I have to go back to the hospital for IV antibiotics. I just can't do that again. (I know this makes no logical sense.)

Sort of related to this, I canceled my gym membership. I hadn't been in two months (leg still healing + open toe wound), but more than that the locker room was so gross and dirty that I didn't want to risk going back. One of the infectious disease doctors goes to that exact same gym and we shared a laugh over how disgusting the locker room is. She said the value of exercising outweighs the risk of the locker room (and that she still goes there), but I just can't. I'll walk (once my darned toe heals), and soon enough it'll be warm enough to use outside pools (the town pools and the pool in my apartment complex).

I'm falling behind on posting about things that make me happy, but my brain isn't in a really happy place right now. Mostly I walk around in a fog of worry, losing myself in games and reading when I can. I just want to be healthy, darn it!

Edit: I've had this LJ since 2002, and apparently this is the most religious my friends list has ever been. In all those years, I can only remember one or two mentions of Lent. This year? It's all over my friends list.
Tags: blah, health, so very tired
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