Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

  • Mood:

Alaskan peace officers must be bored

Now and again I look at classified ads from Alaska. I figure one day I might stumble upon the perfect reason to move up there. While today wasn't that day, I happened upon the police blotter. Whoever wrote these reports up must have been really bored! All these are from one issue of a newspaper (so a week of time).

Drunk Disturbance – Officers responded to a bunkhouse regarding a disturbance report and found a gaggle of people running about, yelling and pointing at one another. Witnesses told officers that the “disturbance” was nothing more than one man disputing the validity of another’s “tough guy” attitude.

Disorderly Conduct – An inebriated and disruptive Samuel K. Kulang, 33, was arrested on one count of Disorderly Conduct after he challenged officers and crewmembers alike to fight.

Officers responded to a location from which a 911 call had been made, apparently inadvertently. Officers found a mother and daughter in an argument over the daughter’s friends and desire to go out late at night.

Drunk Disturbance – Officers responded to a boarding house regarding threats of violence. An intoxicated tenant, upset over the volume of music played by an apparently sober tenant, called the sober tenant bad names and implied that nobody liked him.

Domestic Disturbance – Officers responded to the home of two drunken brothers who were unable to play well with one another and required police to tell them to just get along.

Assault – Officers responded to a bunkhouse regarding a report of a fight, and found that one man had taken it upon himself to spray his sleeping roommate with beer and then hit him in the head with the empty bottle when the sleeping man expressed his annoyance.

Drug Law Violation – Third party report of a white man with marijuana in a phone booth. The report was later amended to be not marijuana but just a lot of paper.
Tags: things that amuse thistles
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