Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

  • Mood:

I think there's something wrong with my brain

It's been a week since I last made a post. Sort of. I've written a few and then made them private because they were too depressing. I really don't want my LJ to be just blah blah blah sad bad sad stuff blah.

Then I discovered that, again, for the second time, I've stressed myself out, spent a whole day crying, for a totally inaccurate reason.

The last post that I didn't post started with "There are many things that I dislike about my life right now, but a big one is that I'm so focused on my weight." What's worse than that? Being so focused on my weight and being wrong.

See, I had six days with no weight loss. Today would be #7, but I lost less than a pound, so. How could I lose no weight? I'm eating about 600 calories a day (I know that's low, but I really can't physically eat more; 400 is from protein shakes, and the rest is from 6-8 tablespoons of food). I spent most of Thursday crying because life is miserable when you can't eat and I wasn't even losing weight!

Tomorrow I'm going to the nutritionist, so I did the math so I'd have exact figures and be able to tell her "It's been a month since my surgery, why have I lost less than ten pounds?!" But know what? It's been 27 days and I've lost 30 pounds. I was stressing, I spent all day Thursday crying, for nothing.

Know what makes this worse? I did the exact same thing a week ago! I was CERTAIN I wasn't losing any weight, but when I checked my notes and did the math, it worked out to a pound a day.

Maybe lack of nutrition is stopping my brain function or something. I was absolutely certain I've only lost less than ten pounds. Both times!

It's a darned good thing I weigh myself daily and write it down every time.

Though, body? Let's not do another week with zero weight loss. I don't think I can take the stress of it.

I really hope my brain starts working again soon. I need it.
Tags: health: bariatric surgery
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