Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

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Guess it's time for another post about weight

Cutting as usual. Feel free to skip or read as you like.

Starting with the positive first: I saw my regular doctor this week and she wanted me to go get bloodwork done. Got the results back yesterday, and it's pretty darned good. Diabetes nearly gone (probably is gone; the test measures your blood sugars for the last three months, so it's still got almost half of the "bad" time in with the post-surgery good). My lipids (fats) are low (for example, normal cholesterol is 200 ML, mine is 101).

I told my doctor about my distress at not losing weight, so she printed out my weight line graph for me and I hung it on my fridge. I've lost a total of 60 pounds in three months (so 20 pounds/month or 5/week), which is really, really good. So that helps on days like today, where I yet again did not lose a single pound all week. I lost a lot early on, which is why the average numbers sound good now. I lost only 5 pounds in the last month, which is really sucky. So sucky.

I really, really don't understand why I'm losing so slowly now. I eat under 600 calories a day, and somehow I go weeks without losing a pound. (I have it written down, so I can be sure about that, not my brain playing games on me.) My doctor did say that obsessing about not losing weight is a form of self-sabotaging, but... I lost 5 pounds in the last month. Eating 600 calories a day. That's not my brain playing tricks on me, that's a fact.

(I was actually doing better about this 'not obsessing' thing this week, until I got on the scale this morning and discovered yet another week of not losing. Sigh.)

I've adjusted my eating some so that I'm not ravenously hungry all the time (just really hungry a lot of the time). Eating three meals (shake + two meals) didn't work for me, because almost no food tastes good anymore, so I was just taking a couple nibbles and tossing the rest out. I made each meal smaller and added an extra one in (shake + two 150 calorie meals and one 100 calorie meal) so my stomach stops trying to claw its way out of me. ("You'll feel no hunger for at least a year after surgery!" What BS. What utter BS.)

Reminder: This is what I'm supposed to be doing, eating no more than 600 calories a day. This is the surgeon's plan for everyone in the first year post-surgery.

So, in conclusion, I'm trying to focus on the positive. Apparently being miserable at this stage of things can be normal, so... whatever. I'm still really tired of it though.

Going to turn comments off, because the more I think about this whole thing, the more depressed I get. I want to keep a record of this though, and to put it out there for anyone who is considering this or is just curious, so that's why I'm posting.

Tags: health: bariatric surgery
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