Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

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The night is dark and full of boredom (RL, weight)

Our electric went out tonight. It was after sundown, much of my town had no power. No one in my apartment complex had any power. You don't realize how dark "dark" is until you're inside, on a cloudy night, no lights, not one speck of light coming in the windows.

Apparently I need to shop for batteries. And flashlights.

I had one working flashlight, but thankfully my cellphone was fully charged. It made a much better flashlight.

Unfortunately my Kindle was nearly dead. I read for an hour, then got into bed for the next hour. (Unfortunately it was early evening, no chance of falling asleep.) Eventually I turned on NPR through my phone and listened to that, even though I didn't know how long the battery would need to last me. After about three long, boring hours total, we got power back.


I've been putting off posting about my weight for, well, months now. I was going to post on the anniversary of my surgery (September 15th), but that passed by and I didn't. I figured Thanksgiving would be a great day to post about it (the anniversary of the first time I ate with/in front of other people post-surgery), but then that day slipped by too.

It's very frustrating and slow, which I guess is why I don't like thinking about it much and thus don't really want to post about it. I haven't gone up (THANKFULLY), but I'm really not losing anymore either. I am, to the tenth of a pound, the same exact weight I was at one year post-surgery. That's zero weight loss in two months.

I'm starting to do hand weights at home, which should help. I keep trying to go back to walking, but my toe isn't fully healed yet. The most annoying part is that I'm not eating bad. I never, ever go to fast food (I've had small fast food items maybe four times in the last 14 months). I haven't eaten a single piece of candy, cookie, or other "real" sweet thing in all that time (not counting sugarfree fake sweet things). I have chips very very rarely, and even then only a few. I'm eating about 1,200 calories a day. Stupid body, you should be losing weight...

I thought I had 100 pounds more to go, but my doctor said 50 more is a better goal. I've lost 138 pounds from my highest point, 116 post-surgery. So 50 pounds is still a lot to lose, especially at the rate I'm going (which is zero).

So: frustrating. So frustrating that you can do everything right, eat so little, and still not lose. Nothing I can do but keep trying though...

I try to look on the positive side of things. I've lost a lot of weight, and I'm healthier for it. People say I look good (though I swear to god, I still see no difference -- stupid brain). Even if I don't lose anymore, I'm still at a much better place than I was a year ago.

But I want to be able to finish this. I'm eating right! I should be able to keep losing weight! Darned body.
Tags: health: bariatric surgery, rl
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