Okay, so google here I come! Apparently there are much slower and better ways to start than to just start doing them. So right now I'm doing "countertop pushups". Some guides say to start with wall pushups before countertop, but the first guide I read started with countertop, so I had already started before I saw mention of the wall ones.
Compiled from a number of different guides:
Do as many as you can, aiming for 20.
Rest 2 minutes.
Repeat steps 5 times.
Repeat every other day.
Can go to 'bench pushups' from there, then to 'step pushups', then to 'girl/knee pushups', then to real ones.
Doing it every other day is the hard part -- it's easy for me to forget to do something if I don't get in the habit of doing it every day. So I'm going to try to figure out something I can do on the alternate day, so I'm doing something every day. Maybe sit-ups? Those are even more scary than pushups! :P
This post brought to you by my weight going insane for no reason at all. I'm now at a HIGHER weight than I was when I first started using the calorie tracking app more than a month ago! Stupid body, stupid stupid stupid.
And speaking of stupid, stupid English language: "pushup" is right, and "sit-up" is right. How are they not written the same way?