Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

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Hello, Panda! Have you missed the short bus? (Japanese Candy Time!)

Before we get to the food, allow me to make a request: If I suddenly stop posting, please call the authorities. When I reached into the bag to pick out something to review today, a giant spider ran out. Hm, a bag full of food from another country harboring pests. I'm probably going to end up with Japanese Biting Spider Disease or something...

But I'm not one to let a little death stop me from entertaining the people who list me as a friend, so off we go! Today's "candy" is actually a cookie, I think. Its full name is "Hello Panda Lait Biscuit". The box claims, in English: Tasty biscuits with milk cream filling. I'd be more confident about this if the pandas that decorate the box didn't look so... retarded. (See?)

Hm. This might be an interesting one. They're actually made in Singapore, not Japan. It must be sold far and wide, as along with the English and Japanese(?) on the package, there's Russian, German(?), and some form of Arabic (what pretty writing). (Since I figured tersa would be interested in the Russian, I tried to get a picture of it, but it didn't come out well.)

Inside the box is a foil package. It may be my paranoia or past experience with these things, but I think I can smell a burnt oil smell from within it... Opening up the package we encounter more of the retarded pandas! Imprinted on each cookie is a panda doing something. Dancing and falling, stumbling, rolling off a ball, staring cross-eyed at the "camera"... notice a trend here? Not yet? How about if I add that there is one with its tongue hanging out? And one looking rather confused as it sits in what appears to be a soup bowl (complete with soup... or maybe it's seriously dirty bathwater *shudder*). Yes, these are mighty stupid pandas!

However, there's still something else required from me before I can wrap this up. I need to taste them. I'm an adult, and so I can admit it: I'm nervous about this. It's the "milk cream filling" that really worries me. So before I put it into my mouth, I decide to break one open. It's surprisingly easy (easier than it should be to break a cookie), and it leaves a gooey, unattractive pile of cream-covered crumbs.

(Pause to take all the photos and start the download of them from camera to computer. If they hurry, I can resize and upload them before doing the taste test!)

Photos aren't finished, so I'm going to be brave and move on. Hm. While the "cookie" part tastes a whole lot more like a cracker than a cookie (no sweetness at all, just a slight salty, wheaty taste), the cream part is okay. After trying a few more, I can report that they're really not /bad/. They're not great, but they're not awful. If the cracker was sweeter and actually a cookie, this could actually be good. The "cream" is sort of like vanilla pudding (or at least the form of vanilla pudding that you'd find in one of those "pudding pies"). They're really nicely crunchy, if very (very) dry.

So their score: 7/10. They gain lots of points for 1) Not killing me, 2) Not poisoning me, and 3) Not being any form of a "jelly drink". They lose points for making me stare at retarded pandas for the last half hour, for being so dry that I've drank a whole glass of water after eating just four of them, and for the oddness of the "cookie" part. Since I'm hungry, I might eat more of these, but I'd never buy them again. (Cream filled crackers just aren't my thing.)
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