June 8th, 2003


Bad fic! Bad! No cookie for you!

There are many themes I like, many books and many shows. One is Harry Potter, and another is the HBO show Oz. I won't explain HP, as most folks willingly or not know the basics of it. Oz isn't as well known.

Oz is a very violent show -- a "realistic" look at life in a high security prison. Graphically violent, sexual, and full of racial insults (nigger, kike, spick, about any insult/slur you can think of, it's been used there.) There have been a number of male/male rapes shown in exacting detail. Death and murder and worse are common.

Just because you love two things does not mean that you can put them together. (See also: Hot chocolate and bacon. Sleeping and driving fast. Telling dirty jokes and company-wide meetings.) I've had the misfortune of coming across a fic that tries to mix Harry Potter and Oz.
The web design alone is eye-bleedingly painful. The fic is worse. Draco and Harry, still school aged (or maybe not, the story later mentions him having taken a class in his seventh year) are sent to a US maximum security prison. Uh huh.

(Oz has a "sponsorship" program, where new men are given older sponsors to help them learn and fit in.) Draco is put under the wing of a character named Shillinger, the leader of the white power group and a man who rapes anyone smaller and weaker than himself. But wouldn't you know it! Shillinger and Draco hit it off! The two spot Harry, and Shillinger asks if Draco knows him:

Draco shook his head vigorously. "I absolutely despise him! He's nothing but a..." He thought a moment thinking of impressing his new acquaintance with his easy grasp of foreign terminology. "Nothing but a worthless nigger lover!"

"You!-" Harry reached for the wand that wasn't there and instead settled for launching hismelf at Draco. He made excuses for him at first when Beecher had told him exactly who and what the man was Draco was acting so familiar with. How could Draco be expected to be familiar with muggle customs and culture? But once the words had come out of his mouth Harry lost it. He knew Draco had Death Eater sympathies, but even Voldemort himself wouldn't have said such a thing!

That's got to be the high (low?) point of this story. Voldemort has killed people, tortured friends and enemies, and wants to take over the world, but even he wouldn't say 'nigger'?

Story here. Luckily it's short. Doing ctrl-A to 'select all' makes the colors a little less painful.

Edited to add: Apparently the writer goes to college. From her LJ:

</i>i'm sure my friends are sick of hearing me whine about this but it's Crazy. i'm not the best poet in the universe, but i know that i'm still damn good. so i thought I'd join a poetRy group and boy did I pick the wrong onE >< you have to submit something And if they like it then you're in. okay i had Two shots and in the span of two days i get called, to paraphrase "borIng, and lacking depth." now anyone who knows me knows i am probably one of the least shallow people there are. i mean i'm Very furious...</i>

Excuse me while I go off into a corner and cry.
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    sick sick

It's not just a quiz! Really!

Which Cool Evil Guy Are You?

Would you be his friend?
You are Mr. Teatime from Terry Pratchett's
You are a sociopathic assassin who would like to
kill every fairytale character, including the
Discworld equivalent of Santa Claus.
Strangely, nobody wants to be your friend.

Which Cool Evil Guy Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So, see, there's a reason for sharing this quiz! I've read almost no Pratchett, but it's high on my list of things to change. I read only one short story by ... him? her? and I rather liked it. These Diskworld books seem to be mentioned everywhere, so I'm feeling rather remiss in not having read any.

Once I'm done with the next HP book, I'm going to set aside my GBA and go back to reading before bed.

Oh, and even though I don't know who Mr. Teatime is, the rest of the text in these results made me giggle!

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    restless restless

More Japanese Candy!

Tonight's candy: Gravel Choco! (Picture of package.) The text on it reads: "Watch out! Try to eat!! It's nice, isn't it?!" The big selling point is that it's supposed to look like gravel. Yes, that strikes me as odd, too.

Does it look like what they're intending it to? (Photo.) No. It looks like fake plastic gravel that has had pink paint dribbled on it... or perhaps has some odd sort of pink mold growing on it.

The pink can be explained by the flavor. Ignore that 'choco' in the name, it's actually "Ikoi Strawberry" flavored. I think 'ikoi' might be Japanese for freaky. The texture of them is okay -- they have sort of a candy coating on them that makes for a nice crunch. But the flavor? Very strange and somewhat scary. All three Japanese strawberry candy/cookies that I've tried so far have this strange taste to them. It's almost as if it's strawberry yogurt... though that's not exactly right. There's some sort of flavor below the strawberry, and I can't put my finger on it. Sharp and almost citrus. Odd.

I'm really not sure if I'm going to finish them. Not only do they have a strange taste, they leave a really strong aftertaste. And, as much as I like "fun food", the idea of candy shaped like tiny pebbles really does nothing for me. They get a 3 of 10, which is likely more generous than I should be.
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