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November 23rd, 2004

Hungry like the wolf!

Is it just me, or does sometimes it feel good to be hungry? I mean like stomach-growling, not eaten in 12 hours or so hungry. Seems odd that that would feel like a good thing (and it doesn't always), but of late I've been enjoying it.

In other Thistle-is-crazy news, I really, really wish I could love more than one thing at a time. I've been this way for as much of my life as I can remember: When I like something, I put ALL of my time/energy/thoughts into it. MUSHing, anime, FFXI are some of the latest examples: When I find something I like, I drop everything else and only love that one thing with everything I have. I dive into that world and drop whatever my last love had been. The new thing is all I think about, all I want to talk about, the only thing I want to spend every waking minute on, and (usually) the only thing I dream about. Other people aren't like this, I know other people can balance different loves and hobbies at the same time, so why can't I?

I think I may end up on a MUSH again before too much longer. I'm reading through some old RP logs (500+ of them, so it's taking me days. I've been reading them for 8+ hours a day for three or four days now!), and it's become that "this is all I can think about" thing. Though it was on purpose that I brought no logs with me to work, I'm now kicking myself for that decision. I don't know if I'll be any good at it anymore, but I think I have to try. Eventually. Once I run out of logs to read. (And boy won't that be a sad day!)

The only problem is, I don't want to give up FFXI. But the only problem with that is, so long as I have these logs to read, I can't even force myself to log onto the game. (I would have came for Eco tonight, if it had happened, but ran off as soon as it was finished.)

So that brings us back to the original question: What the heck is wrong with me? Why do I get fixated on one thing to the exclusion of everything else? I wish I knew.

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