January 31st, 2005

Super Ninjas! (Naruto)

*gnaws* Hungry!

I should have stopped for an egg sandwich this morning. Hungry! I ate my usual oatmeal and half of a banana, but I'm still starving. (BLECH! I hate bananas, but I try to eat them once a week or so cause they're good for you.)

My cat has to go to the vet tomorrow to get a growth taken off her toe. Since she had cancer, all growths are worrisome. It looked like she had an extra pad growing on the side of her toe. I hope she'll be okay, not just that the growth won't be cancer but going under general anesthesia. (She's old, so that sort of thing is risky.)

Somehow I'm back to having 150-200 flist posts to read if I don't read LJ over the weekend. *boggle* I've read about 125 this morning, with the same amount left. I need to do some cutting back again, cause that's just crazy!

I set the airship sunrise (FFXI) picture as my new wallpaper here at work. Eee, loving it! Having little FFXI touches makes getting through the work day so much easier!

I started reading some FFX slash today (the one you must have been talking about, loneguardian. Jecht and Auron at a party? Public sex?), but I couldn't keep on reading it. It really wasn't worksafe at all. Alas! But man, it reminded me how perfect Jecht and Auron are together. To me, they're the perfect couple. I love their personalities together. *purrr*

Boy, this post is a hodgepodge of topics, isn't it?

More wedding news on FFXI: Our LS is having another official wedding! This Thursday! Isn't that keen? It'll be the second one I get to go to! I hope Aurian and Draque are still trying to get a wedding application through, because they deserve it as well. Even if they are very, very mean to me. :) *smooches* I'd really like to see a wedding in Sandy sometime. (A&D: Where are you trying to have yours?)

Every year I have one of those "page a day" calendars -- you know, you rip off a page every day and get a new picture that day. My mother sent me a Lord of the Rings one this year. This is odd, as I haven't even seen all the movies, let alone be a fan of them. (The parts I saw were okay, but never really hooked me. Yes, I suck and have no taste, I know. :) ) So it's odd seeing all these pretty pictures but having no clue as to the storyline related to them. Today's picture is one of the sexy guys. Ar-something (Argon?) or his brother B-something (Bromi... something). I think it's the A-one, isn't the B-one blonder? This fellow's hair is dark. Very cute though. Mmm.

Typing up this post has not made me any less hungry! Hours till lunch. Bah. And you know, this whole "getting up when it's still dark out" thing sucks. And it was so cold that I saw my breath this morning! Oh, I'm just full of complaints, aren't I? :p

In Neopets, my lab pet (PrestoChangoGelert)
turned into a gold Gelert. As he started out as a yellow Gelert, there's hardly any difference. Gold is actually less nice than yellow, IMO. No other exciting changes, just level and speed up and down. Glad I finally have access to the lab though, it's my favorite part of my time spent on Neo-stuff.

Okay, this post has meandered enough. Have a good day, everyone!
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
Big Bad Wolf


Oh, peppygrowlithe, did you see there was a Balto 3 movie? Did you catch it on Cartoon Network this weekend? I only saw half (three-quarters?) of it, but it wasn't bad at all. Well, the story and songs weren't bad, the animation was awful. (Look, it's traditional animation! ...wait, it's traditional and CGI. ...WTF, it's traditional animation on top of live action film? *boggle*)

I want to see it again and watch the whole thing this time. And you'd like this: Puppies! Lots of Balto and what's her name's puppies! In a way, it reminded me a lot of Simba's Pride, but that's not a bad thing.

The movie made me remember that I had played on a Balto MUCK. Though the MUCK hadn't lasted long, I had enjoyed RPing there.

Hm, this icon is the closest thing I have to a dog/wolf... yet it doesn't fit at all. Hee.
  • Current Mood
    cold cold
Sad Dark looking down (DNA)

Sometimes I worry about me

For those who never role-played on a MU*, role-playing is sort of like writing a story with someone else. I've been re-rereading some old scenes, and I find myself very bothered by one of them. In it I described the rather graphic torture of someone (a character I loved, no less). A big part of me is sick that I could have written that -- I'm not saying writing a description of torture is wrong, but it bothers me a whole lot that I not only did it, but did it well.

I know it's total fiction, but it worries me that I had (have?) the ability to make it seem so real. I don't want to hurt people (or any other living things), and I know it's not real, but it still bothers me so much.

I know a lot of slash writers will write about rape and non-con and worse, so I'm betting it doesn't bother them, so why does it me? Repeating again: I know it's not real and was never real, but I can't stop crying over it.

It's not real, no real people were hurt, but I feel so deeply guilty about it. Why? It's not real, so my reaction just doesn't make sense.

I just don't understand...
  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed