June 20th, 2013

Super Ninjas! (Naruto)

Iron Man XXX, The Avengers XXX

I'm sorry to report that there will be no amusing review post of those two movies. They were both darned bad, and not even bad in the amusing way. A minute or two of movie plot reenactment with generally HORRIBLE costumes (CARDBOARD IRON MAN SUIT) and bad acting, then literally a half hour of god-awful porn sex.

I know it's somewhat of a gender difference, but wow. Is porn so unsexy. I actually felt embarrassed for the actors. The dialogue was just so bad. The positions were silly. And I swear, some positions were held so long the actors must have been getting bored. (Though I did have to admire how flexible some of the women were.)

Avengers was better than Iron Man (though still bad). I liked the Hawkeye/Natasha scene, only because I was seeing it through fanfic eyes.

After the first sex scene of Iron Man, I started fast forwarded through the rest of them. I finished the both movies total in less than 40 minutes that way (30 minutes first sex scene, 10 for all the "plot" in two movies plus the time it took me to virus scan both movies, start one after the other ended, and the fast forwarding). I deleted both without a second thought.