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February 12th, 2018

Be careful what you wish for...

I had a friend for a long time. I knew her (online) for 15-20 years before we naturally drifted apart. While we shared a lot in common (online gaming), she was radical right wing (against not just gay marriage, but thought all gay people were going to hell... even though she always wrote about M/M stuff in stories and in drew it her art), so we tried not to talk about RL/politics much. She was very religious. She was a giant fan of Rush Limbaugh.

She's the only person like that I've known in my life, and so I guess it's not surprising she is the voice of opposition in my head. Whenever I get annoyed at politics, religion, or sexuality issues, it's always her voice I hear in my mind.

That's really been bothering me. I've not spoken to her in 2-3 years, and had hoped she's changed. People can change. I hoped, for her sake and everyone else's, that she grew out of those ideas. But more than that, I'm tired of her being in my head (as insane as that sounds...). I've been trying to figure out how to get her out of it.

Tonight someone contacted me about her:

She's terminally ill, I'm afraid. She's been dealing with cancer for a while and the chemo is no longer working.

Now if she keeps being my mental voice of the right wing I'm going to feel guilty on top of everything else...

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