Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,
Thistle
thistle_chaser

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What Swiss Cheese and I Have in Common

Long time ago, when I was a kid, my father did some pretty bad stuff to myself and my sister. My coping mechanism for this seems to have been to forget. Don't ask me how the human brain works, but that forgetting spread and continued even after my mother got him out of the house. My earliest memories:

* One scene in Germany, I was about 9.
* One scene in junior high school, a little clip about having to run in a class race.
* A couple scenes in high school.

Once I get up to college in my life, I start getting a more complete picture. By the second year of college, I remember most stuff.

It just totally amazes me when people say they remember things from when they were kids. I have "indirect memories" of myself as a child, formed by my mother telling me things I did. So I don't remember things happening, but I remember her telling me they did.

But anyway, there's a reason for this bit of sharing. I still forget a lot. I'm use to (but frustrated by) someone saying 'We had a conversation about this a month ago! You agreed. Remember?'. Nope, sorry. I take tons of notes on important things, but I can't write it all down. Part of me worries that those around me are thinking I'm just totally stupid. Part of me hates it to death and wishes I could do... whatever to make the memory loss stop. The last part of me sort of likes it. The past is fuzzy. The future is unknown. It's peaceful just living in what's happening now.

Anyway, I still haven't gotten to the point of this. I was grumpy this evening (and today, a continuation of yesterday's down-ness and a third night of nearly no sleep). I had a disagreement with someone (we never really argue (that I recall! Ha ha, maybe we fight all the time), it was just a small disagreement tonight). She said what I mentioned above 'We talked about this! You agreed! Remember?'. Nope. The problem is, I really and truly don't remember talking about it, and I didn't agree with it now. She said I did though, and all I can do is take her word on that. I don't like having to take someone's word that I said something, when I don't agree now! *I'm not saying she did this, it's an example:* Someone could take advantage of this, claiming I agreed to things when I didn't. What can I do about that, besides taking more notes? (Rhetorical question.)

In other news:

Went shopping at lunchtime. Just meant to run into the supermarket and grab a sandwich, but I kept thinking of other little things I needed. I got real oatmeal! Hopefully it won't taste sucky. I got a plug extender! Woo woo! I'll be able to keep my scanner plugged in.

FFX news:

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the damned Cloister of Trials in Bevelle Temple. ^&^#R%%! moving floors all looking the same! GRR! I spent a half-hour trying to do it tonight, then gave up to watch TV. I got the CD from that eBay guy and saw the extra 14 minute movie. It was okay, not really as good as I was hoping for.
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