Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,
Thistle
thistle_chaser

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A moment on writing

I've finally gotten around to checking out Delphi's (atdelphi's) Winter Kept Us Warm (based on isiscolo's rec). Snape/Dumbledore is usually something I'd strongly avoid (Gah! Old man sex! All that beard! Blech!), but the summary sounded interested and more often than not I like things that isiscolo recs, so I'm giving it a chance.

The writing is so amazing it's actually hindering me in reading the story. I've reread the opening a number of times now, and I just can't make myself leave it to continue with the fic:

He dreams things that are not his to know.

There are spells, and there is screaming. And a long and constant thunder that never reaches the sky. There are orders issued in calm, and orders cried in panic. It is always cold. There is anger, and there is sorrow, and a relentless, choking fear.


"There are spells, and there is screaming." That comma in there is perfect, it makes the flow of the sentence just right.

"And a long and constant thunder that never reaches the sky." I love sentences that start with 'And', and gods, that description! 'A long and constant thunder that never reaches the sky', what perfect imagery!

"There are orders issued in calm, and orders cried in panic." This sentence made me want to cry. How can you sum up in just one sentence the emotions in a war? Like that.

"It is always cold." A short sentence really works well after those multi-clause ones. It's so simple and ... I want to say "chilling", but I don't want it to come off as a joke.

"There is anger, and there is sorrow, and a relentless, choking fear." A choking fear. Wow.

Rereading the paragraph, it's just so... oddly... I don't know if there's a word to describe it. Not 'paced' exactly, not 'flow'. It just feels good to read it. I wonder if the mix of sentence lengths is on purpose or if it was the writer's instinct that made it come out that way?

If the writing in the rest of the story is this good, I may never reach the end of it!
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