Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

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A Month of Meatlessness

(Before I get into this, I want to make sure everyone knows that I am writing this just about me. I'm not judging anyone who does or doesn't eat meat, eggs, or human flesh -- all this just relates to me, my experiences, and my goals. Go forth and do whatever makes you yourself feel best!)

Well, my first thought is that this is really easy. Tons easier than I had thought it would be. Would you believe I haven't had one serious craving for meat yet? (Not counting the times advertisers show juicy burgers on TV. If I let them, they'd pull me back in, but it's pretty easy not to let them make me fool myself into going back to eating meat. Oh, I guess that takes more explaining:

I figured out why I've eaten meat as long as I have. It's something I do in a pretty regular basis in my life: I knowingly fooled myself and suppressed certain feelings. When I look at a cut of meat now, with bones and white stuff and red meat on it, it makes me want to vomit or cry (or both). This isn't some reaction I've developed in the last month, this is something I've always felt but I couldn't let myself feel it or think about if I was going to eat meat, so I pushed it aside. All it takes to continue with this new lifestyle is to stop kidding myself. To be honest.

I like animals. The sight of one hurt or bleeding or dead makes me really sad, even if I didn't know the animal. Hunting makes me want to shoot the humans doing it. I do not want to cause pain to animals, I don't want to see their dead bodies. Heck, I don't want them to die. If their only purpose in life is to die to become meat, I'd rather they not be born. (I mean don't breed them, not go out and give cows abortions...)

So now when I see a burger ad on TV, my first reaction is 'mmm, looks good!', but a second later it kicks in that that was a cow, and then it was a big mound of poor bleeding flesh. That makes me sick and sad, not hungry.

As a side effect of not eating meat, I almost never go to fast food places anymore. (When I do, it's to get a salad.) This is a big, good side effect. No matter how sick I aways felt after eating fast food, I always kept going back because 1) it was fast and easy, and 2) it often tasted good at the time.

Things I still need to do: Eat more veggies, try more things. I've been a lot worse about this than I want to. Beans, beans, the musical fruit are at the top of my list. I need to get some and make some and try some. Eggplant would be an easy one (I can get it made at the Italian place I go to, they prepare it just like they do chicken), I just need to be brave enough to try it. (No, I don't know why eggplant scares me, it just seems really odd.) Peppers are on my list, too. Need to go to that Mongolian place and get stir-fry.

I suspect I need to eat less pasta. I tend to have it almost daily (as dinner), that's probably too often. (Breakfast is cereal, lunch is either a salad or a peanut butter sandwich or popcorn.) If I don't eat less pasta, I need to not add cheese to it. (In general this isn't a big problem, it's just that I have lots of cheese in the fridge at the moment so it's easy to add it.) Oh, and I'm trying to lessen cheese for fat/calorie reasons, not because of ethical reasons. I know eggs and cheese can be ... heck, I shouldn't fool myself with "can be", *are* just as bad, but cutting eggs and cheese right now would probably be too much. Maybe I can make that step later, once I have more things I can eat. (And I'm not sure if they're better or not, but the supermarket sells "cageless eggs", so I get those.)

Issues: At first I thought this was diet-related, then I remembered that it's really not new at all. I have zero energy and even less focus. Instead of blaming it on food, I think this most likely comes from me getting four to five and a half hours of sleep a night. I feel slightly better on weekends when I get eight hours, and wonderful on vacations when I get eight hours many nights in a row. Stress is a big issue, too.

I can't really say that this month went really fast or really slow. It doesn't feel like I've been eating this way only a month, it feels like years. The only thing I don't like about the change is that I have to put more thought and planning into food than I'd like to, but really, that's not too bad of a thing, is it?

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