Then I had to deal with god awful Comcast support. My email stopped working overnight. Last night it worked, today it did not. *Nothing changed*, and yet they told me to go out and buy a new firewall program/software/whatever. GRRRRR. Idiots. After dealing with them for 45 minutes, I searched Google and got the answer. Thanks for nothing, rocket scientists.
Then I played Animal Crossing for an hour, and things got better.
Woo, want some bad summaries? Anything in italics is from me.
* After Draco tells his father he doesn't want to join the Death Eaters, Lucius decides to bond him with Ginny Weasley.
* Once upon a time, there was a school. It was a happy school... until it was overrun by a vampire colony. ... Featuring Hogwarts, as itself.
* Hermione will do anything for Draco, and that includes faking her own death and using Polyjuice Potion to transform herself into Pansy Parkinson. How long can she stay happy, though, when only six people know she is alive? And how long can she keep a person locked in a trunk without getting caught?
* Harry comes home one day to find Seamus crying. He takes him out clubbing to get over a broken heart. But then Harry 'accidentally' gropes Draco's ass! And Seamus dissapears!
* Harry Potter can't seem to fall asleep, and through his clumsiness, he finds himself in Draco Malfoy's bed.
(Harry tumbles out of bed, falls down seven fights of tower stairs, then down the stairs into the dungeons, then into the Slytherin dorms, going 'Ow! Ow! Ow!' all the way!)
* Incl. demon llamas.
You need the title with this summary:
Tital: An Oral Fixation
Summary: There are many things which Percy Weasley is good at. This is one of them.
* Also featuring Lupin As A Dining Room Chair and a Very Anrgy Firepoker.
Title: Pimp or Limp??
Summary: Lucius Malfoy has been called a pimp at the Ministry ... a pimp! Can you believe it? The nerve of people in general, these days! Malfoys are NEVER called pimps (well at least not to their faces...)! Does everyone else think Lucius is a pimp? Follow Lucius as he takes a survey of various people to see what they think.
* Harry and Draco were friends, closer than some people thought was healthy.
* A young girl is adopted by the Weasleys. She had amnesia more than a year and a half ago, but there's something odd about her. She can see things that no one else can see; she understands things that no one else can understand; she has been accepted into Hogwarts. She's a Muggle...
* Harry is in Sixth Year, but a group of Slytherins stop him in the corridors, what do they want?? Maybe his Occamy knows? But the little guy's not born yet.....this is really bad, but the chapter is really good!
* Elizabeth and Harry share one along with a few other things which causes her to realize that she's closet nympho.
* Hermione salivates over Ron's bum and they eventually get together.
* Katie knew she shouldn't go out after dark but one night she is late coming back from the Quidditch Pitch and she's kidnapped by Death Eaters. She finds herself thrown into a world that is beyond her wildest dreams...
* People called her anorexic, people called her a lesbian, people called her a snob, but she wasn't.
(Gah... I made the mistake of reading this one. Feel free to suffer as well!)
* Ginny is in her sixth year and she has, like most of us, a dark secret and a surprise in store.
* Draco reads some interesting facts about Harry Potter in a porn magazine.