Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,
Thistle
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Four truths, one lie: The answer

I was going to post this tomorrow, but Feelmy_Boobs has been bugging me for hours for answers tonight.

Here's what people voted for as the lie:

I spent two years training dogs with a police K9 unit. - 3 (12.0%)

While on jury duty, I stalked the teen on trial because I thought he was cute. - 13 (52.0%)

On multiple occasions, I ate lunch with one hand while holding the testicles of live cats with my other hand. - 8 (32.0%)

I was briefly on TV because I was part of a team who rescued a horse that fell into a deep "ditch". - 1 (4.0%)

I was cheered as I drove my car (a 2001 Saturn) in a parade of antique/old fashioned cars. - 0 (0%)






I spent two years training dogs with a police K9 unit.

True. Back in my post-college, but pre-"real job" (mother-coined term) days, I held tons of animal jobs. This was one of them. Two dog-handling police officers also had a private dog training school, and I worked for them. One of them was "crazy" (really funny and fun, but sometimes coming really close to that 'scary' line), while the other was silent all the time. I loved the job, but eventually gave in to my mother's prodding to get a "real job" and quit to do office temp work.

isiscolo, you were correct. I am now a cat person to the point of avoiding dogs, but when I was younger I loved them to death and didn't understand or like cats.

While on jury duty, I stalked the teen on trial because I thought he was cute.

The most-picked answer is, unfortunately, true. It is also #2 on my "Top Ten Stupidest Things I've Ever Done" list. (And no, I won't tell you #1.) It's a bit of a story:

I was young (but still old enough to have known better), and it was my first time being called in for jury duty. It was a giant case, the first of its kind in our county. Four teens had entered a McDonalds and killed everyone inside. They tried to steal the money, but were thwarted by their own stupidity. The questioning to get onto or dismissed from the jury took weeks. I lasted through three rounds of them (about two weeks), and by that point I was thinking how cool it'd be to get onto the jury and how exciting this was and all that.

Oh yeah, and we were going to be the jury for the cute one of the four.

So I didn't make it through the next round of questions, which made me really sad. And really stupid. I still went to watch the trial on my days off (my "weekend" was on weekdays, so that was handy). At one point I baked cookies for both lawyers and the judge, just because the whole process seemed so cool and I really wanted to still be involved. (Both lawyers were pleased, but the judge gave his to someone else.)

Outside the courtroom, I was collecting news clippings and crap like that. I tracked down and talked to the reporter from a major newspaper who had been assigned to the story. One of the stories mentioned the teen's address, so I checked out his house a few times (driving by it and parking in front of it, just looking).

But the last thing I did was the really, really stupid thing. I wrote the teen a letter. Among other things, I told him if I had been picked for the jury, I wouldn't have voted him as guilty no matter what. This was a really, really big mistake.

The next time I was in court (making notes about things in the notebook I always brought with me), I was very, very, VERY surprised/shocked/dismayed to be called to the stand. The teen had (of course) given his lawyer the letter, and apparently the lawyer had to give copies to the other lawyer and the judge. Know that "sinking feeling"? It's not just a phrase. I felt like I had sunk down through the floor and was just going to die.

So I had to sit there on the stand, admitting that I had written the letter and that I had meant what I said in it. It was surreal. I really felt like I was elsewhere, that it was just my body up there on the stand with everyone looking at me. When it was finally finished, the judge "suggested" that I find some other trial to watch. Intending to never, ever come back ever again, I nodded and all but ran out of the room.

This was at least ten years ago, and I still feel burning embarrassment over it.

On multiple occasions, I ate lunch with one hand while holding the testicles of live cats with my other hand.

This is true. Also, men might want to skip over the rest of this answer.

I worked in a couple of vet's offices and an animal rescue place. Veterinary technicians could preform minor surgery, and neutering male cats was one of those. In veterinary practices, most surgeries are done around the noon hour (which gives the animals time to recover and be sent home in the evening). Noon, of course, is also lunchtime.

Neutering a cat takes only two hands. One person uses two hands to cut open the ballsack. Then the second person joins in and uses one hand to pull the testicles out and hold them tight, so that that thingie that attaches them to the body is straight. This was usually my job. Hold them with one hand, and with the other I could eat. Then the first person (who would now have lunch in one hand), could take the little special scissors and snip it. All done! Just a couple stitches in the now-empty sack, and the cat is neutered.

Sound gross? It wasn't, really. There was never much blood, and cat testicles are just tiny little purple-blue things. So long as you keep your working hand for working and your eating hand for eating, no one had a problem with it. I've seen a lot worse, too. When I worked on a ranch, the guys would eat while mucking out stalls. *That* was gross, and I wouldn't do that myself.

I was briefly on TV because I was part of a team who rescued a horse that fell into a deep "ditch".

This is the false one! kaylarudbek got it correct!

I was cheered as I drove my car (a 2001 Saturn) in a parade of antique/old fashioned cars.

True. It got no votes, so good for you all! My hometown was doing an antique car parade, and somehow I got onto the route just as they were closing off the road. Unable to find a street to turn off, I keep driving forward... and there I was in the middle of the parade! At first I was really embarrassed (people were laughing and pointing and calling out in disbelief "A Saturn?"), but since I couldn't get out of it, I gave in and smiled and waved to folks. I think it amused the viewers a lot, but the drivers of the antique cars were pissed at me. Understandably!


Whee! That was a fun meme. (Ironic thing, in the time it's taken me to type this up, Fumpy_Beast has gone to bed! Hee. She'll kick me in the morning.)
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