Hoohoohoo! No one knows about her but me. I wait 'till no one's looking, then sneak off to see her. I like to bring her things! Good things! Heehee, meat or bones or ears or insides. Mmmm! She doesn't demand things or snap at me to make me drop them, but I love her so I bring 'em and give 'em right to her!
She doesn't talk much, or (heheheee) laugh at all, but that's okay! Hee, I can laugh for both of us! When I go to see her in the daytime, she's all warm from being in the sun, but at night she's cool and shadowy! Sometimes I can't find her right away, but if I use my nose I can! Heehee, she smells like me!
Sometimes there're bugs crawin' out of her hole, but they don't bother me! Usually they get all smushed up from me... you know. Heeheehee! Then after we're done, I lick them all out and eat them up!
Only bad part is when I get splinters. Ow ow ow! Bark in my fur I can pick out, but splinters hurt!
I'm not sure if I amused or squicked myself more...