Chamber of Secrets
Prisoner of Azkaban
Goblet of Fire
I finished reading tiranog's A Nick In time, which was quite a challenge to do while at work. (The last parts kept trying to make me cry! I had to read a paragraph, then stop and do something else, then once I could get myself back under control go and read another paragraph, then stop...) Not the best way to read the story, but I still enjoyed it!
I think I do this all the time: Whatever job I'm currently playing I think is the hardest, most challenging job out there. In the three or four weeks since I last played white mage, I forgot a ton. Forgot how to do the job, forgot its own unique stresses, and was spoiled by having two WHMs in my last party.
Last night didn't go well, in a number of ways. It was very odd to be handling such a small part of the whole party's role. It was very (very very) worrisome to have responsibility for the lives of others. I have not one single problem with paying the price for my own mistakes (I saw a sig that I loved: "You're either a good beastmaster or you're a dead beastmaster."), but to have others get hurt when I make a mistake makes me sick to my stomach. (I'm not looking for pats, words to feel better, telling me not to worry/it's only a game, or any of that. I'm not fishing for comments, just stating a fact.)
I'm still too rusty at being a WHM to decide anything for sure, but my feeling right now is that I like BST a whole lot more. (And even if I decide for sure that I like BST better, I'll still be playing WHM. 36 is close enough that I can almost taste it! I'll be so handy with teleporting ability! And plus I love spending time with our little party. :) ) Ignoring how I feel about anyone else getting hurt, I like it that if I make a mistake it will be *me* who gets hurt. No one else to rely on, no one to save my ass if I get in over my head -- it makes it even more of a challenge to be the best BST that I can... and no one else will get hurt if I'm not.
(I debated posting about this for most of today, and for the most part I decided against posting. If I hadn't been posting the HP stuff, this wouldn't have ever seen the light of day. Again, I'm not fishing for anyone to pat me or tell me not to worry about stuff; this post isn't about that one bad thing that happened last night :) , it's how I feel in general.)
Edit: I can't turn comments off for only half the post, so feel free to comment about the HP stuff if you want, but I'd rather not get comments on the FFXI stuff.