Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,

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An unusual Saturday post!

Eh, unusual as in I don't usually post on Saturdays, not as in it'll contain anything unusual. FFXI only!

Mostly I just wanted to archive the FFXI fanfic we've been writing off the CTY site. Eh, perhaps "fanfic" is too formal of a word for it. :P The silly stories which have been cropping up lately.

Note: If you're not a member of one of our LSs (CurseTheYagudo or FinalInsanity), you likely won't get as much out of these as a member would. We're not a RP LS, some of us just fool around ICly sometimes. Stories like these come out of those times.

Adventures In Subligar
(AKA: Jaide and Thistle's Excellent Adventure) (By Thistle)

Bastok. A dirty city for a couple of dirty boys.

"Dude," lazily Thistle's leg moved, dragging the sheet along with it. "I'm so bored."

Jaide, his arm slung across his face to keep the meager light out of his eyes, responded, "Yeeeaaaahh."

Quiet for a time, neither moving but neither asleep. Then Thistle again. "I'm /bored/."

If anything, Jaide's response was even less helpful than before. "Yeeaaaahhh."

Thistle, with a frustrated (or bored) frown. "We should do something."

No reply from next to him.

"Like," Thistle dragged himself up to a seated position, half-heartedly kicking his legs to free them of the sheet. "Like visit someone or something."


And so with great effort, our two heroes got themselves out of bed and into their subligars. Or into each other's subligar. It's kind of hard to tell those things apart. But either way, they eventually got on a couple of chocobos and went in search of someone to visit.

Out of Bastok they rode, but didn't get very far before coming across a figure crouched in the middle of the trail. A Mithra! Her focus was on something upon the ground in front of her. Her ears twitched backwards and her tail made tiny swishing motions. It was Beanie!

"Beanie!" Thistle cried. "We're bored, so we came looking for people!"

Jaide hrumped. "No, /he's/ bored, I wanted to--" but he was cut off as Thistle's chocobo just happened to leap close enough to stomp on Jaide's bird's foot. Beanie didn't even look up from the small objects in front of her.

With a grin, Thistle asked the kittygirl Eco-leading, ranger-chick, "What're you doing?"

Beanie's tail gave another twitch, but it was a moment before her distracted reply came. "Counting." Reaching down with her hand, she gave one of the three beans a ginger poke. "I want to know how many're here."

Jaide and Thistle exchanged a look over the crouched figure, then nodded. Thistle spoke as the two directed their birds back into a run. "We gotta go find something fun! See you!"

And so the two subligared men rode and rode and rode, and eventually came to a most interesting thing! It was a bush! But unlike the other bushes around it, it was moving! They stopped to stare -- surely this would be something that would un-bored them!

This time it was Jaide who took the initiative. "Bush! Yo, bush!" Removing a foot from his stirrup, he gave it a little kick... and the bush (which sounded a whole lot like a girl) squealed in surprise! Then a head popped out of the bush, which made the two a little sad. A talking bush might have been interesting, but a... a girl? a... naked girl? Okay, maybe that could be interesting, too! Then another head popped out, a man's! (Again, potentially interesting!) And a third head popped out! Another man's! The three bush-people were all grinning, faces flushed and eyes bright. Once Jaide and Thistle raised their eyes from the naked bodies (the leaves really didn't cover all that much) to the faces, they recognized the bush dwellers. "Aurian! Ead! Draque!" they cried happily. Now THIS could un-bored them fast!

Thistle bounced up and down in his saddle, which gained him an annoyed glance from the feathered creature below him. Before Jaide could even open his mouth, the subligared DRK spoke for them. "Can we join you? Huh? huh? Can we? Please? Huh? Please? Can we? We're bored and want to have fun and you guys are having fun and we're here and we're fun-"

But alas, before he could finish his request (or catch his breath from that explosion of words), the three naked bush people blasted and stabbed the two all the way to the outskirts of Sandy. (Perhaps they blasted and stabbed Jaide a little more reluctantly than Thistle, but nonetheless, the two ended up together near the Sandy gates.)

Since they had lost their chocobos somewhere in the sky over Jeuno, they entered Sandy on foot.

"I'm still bored," Thistle noted with a long sigh, but before Jaide could reply, the pair spotted a familiar face.

"Sylf!" Thistle exclaimed, and leaped into action ... or started to. Jaide's hand on the back of his subligar stopped him, which was probably for the best.

"Stay back!" the uber-mage threatened. Sylf may have been new to Sandy but he wasn't new to these two! "Keep away or I'll blast you to Bastok!"

Not wanting to return to ugly Bastok, Thistle did indeed stand down. While Sylf turned tail and ran, Jaide and Thistle wandered towards the residential zone. Encountering nothing at all interesting on the way, they entered Thistle's place when they reached it.

Now tired as well as bored, they flopped down onto the bed.

"I'm still bored," Thistle complained.

"Yeeeaaaahhh," came Jaide's familiar lazy agreement.

After thinking for a moment (okay, longer than a moment), Thistle rolled onto his side and reached for the other man. "I thought of something we could do..." His words trailed off into a sly grin.

"Yeah?" Jaide's tone wasn't so laid back anymore.

"Yeah," Thistle agreed, then pounced Jaide.

And so the two were no longer bored, at least for a little while.

Stry #2: Untitled. (By Jaide!)

Jaide grinned when walking up the familiar dirt path of Ronfaure and through the trees outside the grand structure that was San d’Oria. Even if he didn’t care much for the kingdom itself, the forest that surrounded San d’Oria always captured Jaide for one reason or another, though he couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe it was the wild rarabs chasing each other into knots in the trees, the birds singing within the leaves, orcs using its bark as clothing, or…

“Ah ha! Found you!”

…Pouncing Thistles who hide from behind them.

The shorter hume tackled the much taller hume, knocking the two onto the ground, the shorter one with black hair sticking his tongue out and grinning wildly at the prey he just attacked. Jaide gave back a dazed smile, rubbing the back of his skull where the ground had met it moments before. He blinked back a couple tears, and the smaller hume immediately saw the damage he caused.

“Ack, my bad!” Giving Jaide’s untidy blonde hair a ruffle, Thistle removed himself from his taller friend and held out a hand, “If you want, I’ll kiss it to make it feel better!”

Jaide couldn’t help but smile at his friend, and used his assistance to get back on his feet, looking suspiciously back at the tree where he had been ambushed, “Nah, I’m fine. I’ll save the offer for another time.”

Thistle raised a knowing eyebrow and his grin grew, both humes knowing what the other was thinking.

“How’s your mother doing?” Jaide asked, pulling out a riceball and ripped it in half, handing the larger of the two to his friend before taking a bit out of it, and cherished the taste. Riceballs were expensive, so he carefully made sure he saved them for a special occasion!

“Oh, she’s doing fine. Sending a letter out every Firesday, of course,” Thistle nibbled on his more slowly, stopping a moment to kick a stick on the ground in Jaide’s direction, “She asked about you, too.”


“Yep! You need to pay her a visit,” Thistle adjusted his armor (and his subligar, of course), opening up his breastplate for some cooler Ronfaure air, “Don’t make her storm all the way to that ugly, dirty city of yours just so she knows you’re safe.”

Jaide couldn’t help but laugh, and the two walked through the gates of San d’Oria, each ignoring the dirty looks the elvaan guards gave. Jaide was hoping Thistle wouldn’t feel any animosity towards the Sandy elvaan today; it was the same rant each time.

He apparently was in luck today, “So how are your Windy parents?”

“Nif and Beans?” Thistle nodded, and the two passed the familiar business of the Auction House, and towards one of the familiar back alleys of the city, “Fine, as usually. Since they’re marriage, they couldn’t be happier.”

Jaide finished eating his riceball and eyed Thistle’s, a smirk growing on his lips.

“What’s with that sm- HEY!” In one fluid motion Jaide was able to snatch the half nibbled riceball from his shorter friend, and hold it high above his head, teasing the black haired hume, who kept jumping for it and missing. “That’s my lunch!” Not hard enough to do major damage but enough to knock some wind out from his friend, Thistle’s elbow “accidentally” met Jaide’s stomach, who half laughed and half caught his breath and winced, double over enough for Thistle to grab the riceball and stuff it into his mouth. Jaide brushed some blonde bangs from his eyes, and then sat on the ground, laughing in absolute hysterics.

The hamster cheeked Thistle tried desperately not to chock on his food, and at one point had to step away from his laughing-so-hard-he’s-crying friend to finish chewing and swallow his meal.

“Stop that, you were going to make me choke on my lunch!” Thistle faux whined, standing over his “fallen” friend who still suffered from random bouts of the giggles.

“Oh, if you choked, I could have saved you.”

“Mouth to mouth resuscitation?” The familiar smile crept onto Thistle’s lips.

“Only if you were unconscious. First I’d have to take you from behind and, well, thrust,” Jaide grinned just as dangerously before adding, “With my fist in your sternum, of course. Probably not so comfortable having a monk do that to you.”

“Oh baby!” Thistle continued walking in the back alleyways of San d’Oria, and soon Jaide rose from where he was sitting and followed, brushing his hand through his hair, and playfully trying to step on the back of Thistle’s heels. After catching a couple of times, the shorter man spun around and looked up at his blonde friend, his eyes hinting playfulness.

“My place, then?” Thistle raised an eyebrow.

“We’re in Sandy, aren’t we?” Both humes grinned.

“Better than your terrible, smelly city!” Jaide only rolled his eyes and followed Thistle closely, wondering if anyone they knew was going to jump out from one of the doors and catch the two humes together.

“Which has an ocean.” Jaide pointed out.

“But it’s all dead and, uh, rocky,” Thistle snickered, hiding in the shadows of the stone buildings, “Here it’s full of trees, greenery, and real wildlife.” Jaide just rolled his eyes at his friend, slinging an arm over his shoulder, knowing no one was watching, since he knew that made his friend feel uncomfortable. Thistle at first hesitantly didn’t move but soon fell in stride with his taller friend.

“So,” Jaide grinned, once again removing hair from his eyes and looking down at his dark haired friend, “What do you have in mind?”

“Well, since you come from a dirty city and all…”

Story #3: How Thistle came to live with a yagudo (by Thistle)

Okay, okay, since people are so upset to see a yagudo in my house, I'll tell the story of how it happened, then you'll all see that it wasn't my fault! Here goes:

There I was, farming in the Canyon. Manly me was covering half the zone in one stride, killing hundreds of dhalmels and bees with a single nudge of my weapon.

Then I saw it.


A yagudo.

Lifting my scythe, I jumped at the dirty bird. "Now you die!" I informed it, weapon ready.

"Bwak!" it bwaked, fluttering its wings.

"You're a yagudo!" Birds have only little bitty birdy brains and so sometimes don't know really simple stuff. "And so I must curse you! And then kill you!" Cocked over my shoulder, my scythe quivered, ready for the swing to take place.

It made more birdy noises and jumped around a bit. I'm sure someone a whole lot less manly than me would have been threatened by this!

Tapping my foot a bit, I waited for my scythe's initial swing to start. Growing bored, I glanced up and down the bird. "You're a girl!" I exclaimed in surprise.

She made more funny bird noises and fluttered her wing a bit more.

Then, finally, my weapon swung! It was a fierce, deadly, manly swing! One which could kill everything in the zone if I had directed it to, but instead would surely slice this one creature cleanly in half!

...if only it hadn't missed.


"Dude," I eyed her, somewhat annoyed. "Do you know how long this thing," I gave my scythe a little shake, then thumped it butt-down onto the ground and leaned on it, "takes to swing? Why'd you dodge?"

She made more noises at me, then cocked her head as she eyed me.

I sighed. "If you think I'm going to swing this thing at you again, you're dead wrong. I'm going home. Maybe Jaide will be around..." So I stood up out of my lean and started walking.

To my surprise, she followed me! (I know this because she poked me before I got too far. I don't have a little bitty birdy-brain! I know these things!)

"Huh?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at her. But she only made funny clucking noises, so I shrugged and started walking again. She kept following me.

Luckily the elves of Sandy cannot lower themselves to so much as see me as I walk through town, because none of them noticed my return with her in tow. We walked through South Sandy, then arrived at my place. She was still behind me.

"Bird-dude, what do you think you're doing?" But the stupid thing still couldn't do anything but make noises at me. I didn't really want her in my place, so I used a tactic which has gotten rid of other bothersome women:

"I only let chicks into my house to sleep with me, so go away unless you want to!" And with that I opened the door. Usually girls run away at this point, which was what I was hoping for.

The yagudo made more noises at me and jumped inside! I was left standing there, holding the door! A girl had actually... taken me up on my offer!

Well, I couldn't just stand there all day, so I went inside and shut the door behind me. She was busy checking everything out, poking this and that, picking stuff up.

And to this day I haven't been able to get her to leave, so that's why you all saw her in the pictures of my second mannequin.

In other news, our "subjob static" happened last night. It's funny, I stopped disliking THF for the old reasons and grew new ones. Now I feel somewhat comfortable with the act of pulling, which might be what caused my new dislike: I don't like the changes in me when I'm pulling. I don't like fighting with people for stuff -- trying to out-pull someone else. I can do it, and I often win, but I don't like doing it. Worse than that: We were in a very crowded area of the jungle. Four other parties in a small area. One of the other pullers (who never screwed me over, stole from me, or in any way harmed my party) died, and my first thought? "GOOD!" Gah! That's so unlike me! And then it got worse: The area we all were camped in was a U shape. Mobs spawned on either end of the "arms" of the U. So you'd have to check one side, then run all the way around the curve to check the other. This other puller was ahead of me. He checked the top of one of the "arms" and turned around and headed back. I continued on (thinking a new one might pop there in the time it would take me to arrive), but there was nothing. So at this point I knew that (since he was ahead of me) he'd get any mob waiting on the other side. So I hit Flee to try to get ahead of him. ; ; Even then I thought it was good that Flee wasn't enough to get me ahead of him (he got the only mob there), but I'm sorry I even tried that.

Trick Attack was okay. I have no issues with moving myself around the mob. Heck, that's what I've been doing on both THF and DRK since getting SA! I reposition myself all the time... but trying to get two other people to position themselves as well was ... a challenge. (If I hadn't been pulling as well, that might not have been as stressful as it was. But with pulling? Fucking insane. I was ready to either cry or scream at people.)

For non-players: Between fights, five of the six people in a party have some downtime. The mages can sit to regain MP, people can chat, you can scurry off to grab a drink or pet the cat. Whoever is pulling gets none of these breaks. As soon as a fight ends (or even slightly before that) you run out and find some new mob to bring back. This makes a damned big difference in your stress level for the party.

But anyway, we all got to 30 (I think we all did...). I really really want to stop playing THF at 34 and do the rest with Eco/Escort XP, but I might push on to 35...

So close to never having to play THF again! So close!
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