Thistle (thistle_chaser) wrote,
Thistle
thistle_chaser

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Case of the Blahs. (RL, FFXI, The Admin)

Even with my sick day yesterday, I'm feeling oddly down. I suppose I'm just headed into one of my depressed cycles. Usually that comes with sleeplessness, but I finally learned a trick that gets around that (thank god).

It's really hard dragging myself through work. All I want to do is stay in bed and put the covers over my head. Nothing especially bad is happening, I just can't deal with people around me at the moment.

Perhaps related to that, I feel myself drifting away from FFXI. The vast, vast majority of my time on the game I'm just not having fun. When I do have fun, it's almost always from chatting with friends on it, not the game itself. Everything in the game is just so darned redundant. Yesterday we talked a little about leveling jobs, and I just don't get where people see the fun in it. Even the one job I like isn't fun to level. Getting levels is nice, but the hours of doing the exact same thing? Not so fun.

And when I'm not leveling? Game life gets even more redundant. Farming, chocobo digging, crafting? Blah. It's boring. (Yeah, there are quests I can do, but those feel more like work than anything interesting.)

But anyway, this wasn't going to be a post about FFXI. How about something better? Like The Administration!

manna asked me if I had realized who "not-Anne" was in First Against The Wall (the woman who gave Toreth the scarf outside the bar, near the end of the story).



Payne's wife! Her ring had MP on it and she was blonde. I can't recall if we ever heard Payne's wife's first name, but it seems to fit! And boy oh boy was I happy to realize it must be her. I liked Payne and I was oddly depressed at how Toreth let him know that he had been used. Eeee! She's going to give him another chance! :)




In some ways I think The Admin brought on my current down feelings (not its fault though!). I'm feeling much like I had after reading all the old PokeMUSH logs (which ironically covered many of the same themes as Admin did). It's not because of the darkness in the stories/logs (I think), it's that I'm nearly at the end of it. (I'm in the middle of Family Values now.) I can always reread the stories, but there will never be a first time again...
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